If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
