franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
