Kiss
Puke
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
