Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
