I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
