I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize