She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
