I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
