Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
There r osticjed everywhere
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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