Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
My vagina just recognized that song.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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