Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
