We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
