my soul wont recognize me after tonight
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
How's work?
Spinning.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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