ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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