all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize