Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
