How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
