How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
