If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
