Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
