I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Randomize
