he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
so let's talk penis.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
