Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
