sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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