im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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