This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
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