Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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