butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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