I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
