I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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