She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Farmville is her only friend.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
The cops high fived after they tackled you
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
