Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
