Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
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