I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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