Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize