I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
