Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize