"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
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