Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Randomize
