chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
