So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
