Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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