He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
