I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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