I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Randomize
