we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize