You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
