Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
