I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Randomize
