White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
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