I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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