His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Randomize
