everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
