Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
