Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
sex in a hospital.. check
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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