i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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