Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
