So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
you would pick up someone in the library
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
