I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
