Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Randomize
