It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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