i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
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