Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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