I'm jealous of your bromance
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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